Of nurturing

Nakata was one of the five children evacuated to our town from Tokyo, and of the five he was the brightest and had the best grades. He had very pleasant features and always dressed well. He was a gentle boy and never butted in where he didn't belong. Never once during class did he volunteer an answer, but when I called him, he always gave the correct answer, and when I asked his opinion he'd give a logical reply. He caught on right away, no matter what the subject. Every class has a student like that, one who'll study what he needs to without supervision, who you know will attend a top college and get an excellent job. A child who is innately capable.

But as a teacher I will say there were a couple of things about him that bothered me. Every so often I felt a sense of resignation in him. Even when he did well on difficult assignments, he never seemed happy. He never struggled to succeed, never seemed to experience the pain of trial and error. He never sighed or cracked a smile. It was as if these were the things he has to get through, so he just did them. He handled whatever came his way efficiently - like a factory worker, screwdriver in hand, working on a conveyor belt, tightening a screw on each part that comes down the line.

I've never met his parents so I can't say anything for certain, but there has to be a problem back home. I'd seen a number of cases like this. Adults constantly raise the bar on smart children, precisely because they are able to handle it. The children get overwhelmed by the tasks in front of them and gradually lose the sort of openness and sense of accomplishment they innately have. When they're treated like that, children start to crawl inside a shell and keep everything inside. It takes a lot of time and effort to get them to open up again. Kids' hearts are malleable, but once they gel it's hard to get them back the way they were. Next to impossible, in most cases.

- Taken from Kafka on the Shore, by Haruki Murakami.

How surprising to find this piece of insight from a random book. It's like the author was blending bits and pieces of different flavours into one, as he delivered his story - history, science, arts, and psychology. I'm still devouring his work, slowly, for the time being. Planning to finish it off before Ramadhan and start on something new insyaAllah :)


But then again, back to above - while emphasizing the importance of hard work and giving it all, blood-and-sweat in everything, we should know that it may not always be 100% about the result right? Because we set what we want, based on what we seek as important. And sometimes in achieving that goal, without realizing it we receive other unexpected things as well on our plate. Things that challenge us, hurt us, pushed us. Which gave us a storm of feelings. And normally, the end does not turn up as how we wished or hoped for in the beginning. Even better, it became exactly what it should be. And us? We turned into brand-new individuals with something changed inside, from all the experiences.


So perhaps.. feelings are not so bad after all. Having them means that we have an inner compass of what's right and what's wrong, and what's different.


Having the hurt from failure and rejection, brings about the spirit to be better than we were. And helps us to cherish and recognize the feels of joy and fulfillment afterwards.


Having loneliness deep inside, makes us more attentive and thankful when being with those who stayed. And knocks down our ego to become less selfish.


And the regret of losing something, or someone, trains us to be more careful in taking care of what we have now. And give everything for love, just for the sake of appreciation and not taking things for granted.




So in the end.. we changed for the better didn't we? Congratulations for not being heart-less. Such a blessing it is. Yet we are still growing up, day by day :)

 ".. And on the earth are signs for the certain (in faith). Just as (there are signs thereof) within your own selves. Can you not, then, see?.. "
Az-Zariyat : 20 & 21