The Strength Within Us (The Untold Story)

Once upon a time, a little girl was born into this messy world. She has a free soul, a spirited laugh and feature. She saw the world she lives in as a land of adventure. Everything moves too quickly for her, so she often runs to catch up. In fact, she loves running. She loves the wind when she runs, and she loves to feel the sweat running along her skin as it cools her down. And she realized that there are too much beauty in this world that her eyes can behold. She loves watching others. She has this sensitive gaze that can penetrate whatever she sees through her heart. It has always been that way. She laughs when she is happy, and cries when she sees sadness in others. But she was wrong, because she thought everybody else understood.

She didn't know that living in this world has such rules; That when others say you cannot, then you should stay away - however hard you want something. That it is silly when you wear your heart on your sleeves, and show your affection and emotion towards others. She became confused. Most of all, she did not understand why people would oppress one another to feel satisfied. Like one person's worth is less than the other, so it is okay to do bad things to them. Like there are not enough good things in this world, so you have to practice greed to survive and neglect others. She did not understand why beautiful-hearted people that she know, are not happy with themselves. And those people are so messed up and helpless, that they hurt others too, including her.

And then she learnt something - it is because of the Past. So many people wants happiness, but are trapped in the definition of what happened in the past. And she understood, because she can see in her heart that some scars run deeper than others. That different people face unknown struggles which are unfamiliar to us, if we didn't dare to ask. And those hurtful things that people did, do not bring peace into their own lonely hearts. They too, are hurting behind the masks. So she forgave them, gave silent prayers, and constantly tried her best in every bone and muscle not to let her loved ones down. She held them tightly in her thoughts.

She loves to read. She loves to understand different characters and their stories. And there are a few that moved her so much, she started believing again. About how goodness can trump evil, how sincere love can break any barrier of hatred, how unwavering faith can bring immeasurable magic, and how true companions can help you to outlast any hurdles in life. Maybe that is something good about knowing a story whole-heartedly ; so you can be the watcher of both sides, from before and after a hero was made. No matter - either by reading a simple fiction, a classic fable or by reliving the Prophet's Sirah, which is very profound. She wanted to be like them. She wanted to choose her own side of the story, so that she can protect those that she loves. She wants to be better, for them. Because that's what they needed the most.

But then, something happened. Her center of gravity was taken away, to meet the Almighty. She couldn't save her, and had to let go. It felt like the whole, clear big picture of her life was shattered. And the pieces were blown away by a storm, whereby she stayed there feeling lifeless and empty. It felt impossible too. So she walked on, with however little residue of energy left. Because she knew that there are others, counting on her. She chose to work a side-job on weekends because she couldn't bear the weight of missing that one person. Truth be told, she worked in that small café because she wanted to feel okay. She wanted to be the useful and friendly waitress. To see happiness, without having to explain to the world who she is, where she is from, or what happened. In other words, she wanted to find peace and be safe. Because she can't talk without pouring her heart out. Little did she know that after a few weekends working there, her life would change.

Regardless of her effort to avoid personal chats, she made friends with co-workers and regular customers while giving them the least details of herself. Maybe it was because of the distant gaze or the sad smiles when she thought no one was looking, one of them noticed and gently nudged her to tell more, day by day. And one afternoon, he opened up his own story.

His name is Adam, whom was initially born in Cambodia a few years earlier than her - which explains the unique accent, but totally undetected by his looks. Born into a poor family, he had to depend on his rebellious nature to get what he wants, often getting himself into trouble. When he was still a kid, around 4 or 5, something bad happened to his family which caused them a major catastrophe. He was left with no choice but to flee hurriedly and be separated from his loving parents. They both loved him so much, but had to let him go while there was no time to figure out how they would contact one another after that. And alone, he was taken all the way to this country by an unfamiliar vehicle, and adopted by a local family after some roofless cold nights. It was good to hear that his current foster parents are also kind, but since he was poor, there was no single way for him to reach his real father and mother in their remote village. He wasn't left with any address. Not even a full name. All he had was the vivid images of them, a picture he always hold in his mind all these years. He is hardworking, dependable and can manage himself well. He hoped to be reunited with them, one day. Not a day goes by that he didn't wonder if his parents are still there, waiting for him. No news, whether they are in sickness or health. And not a meal goes by that he wouldn't wonder if over there, they could also fill their stomachs with good food in their old age. Could they? Tears welled up in his eyes as he spoke. He truly relies on Allah's grace to protect them for him, because there are just some things in this world that you cannot control.

To her, he is a true survivor. She knew how hard it was for him to say all of it, to confess such longing and sadness. But she was forever grateful, because without asking or knowing, that was what exactly she needed to hear. Everything he said resonated with what happened to her. That one moment, she realized that she was exactly where she was supposed to be. There, after all this. Sometimes when stuck in a rut, it helps to realize that there are other people facing worse things than us. If only we have the courage to look down and see how far we have gone. It might seem like the worst, inconsiderate advice ever. But it doesn't mean to belittle our struggles at all. After taking some time to sink in, we'll see that it is true. And it keeps us moving and believing. So yes, she has lost her biggest life anchor. But at least, they had their time together and made everlasting memories right? And she always have her other wonderful family members by her side. However short or temporary something is, Allah knows that it is enough for us. It is, enough. And at least she knew the reality that it has ended, rather than having to live with fear and doubt just like Adam. But Allah truly knows that he can. He is preparing him for something better to come. By then, she finally grasped the true meaning of

"Verily, Allah wouldn't burden a soul with more than what it can bear".

Most of the time, we cannot understand why something happened, or what for. They just do. It's not our job to solve all the puzzles now, because without us knowing, He has His own mysterious and wise ways to present us with His hidden blessings. And Allah tests those that He loves, to polish them and make them shine the brightest. All we have to do, is keep pushing and going to the other side where things are better. A test, is like a coin with two sides. Hence it will take all our faith to accept it, and strength to move and flip it over for the better. It's true, Allah knows we can handle it. It takes only us to believe in our own self, because nobody else can do it for us. The change must come from within ourselves first. Because "Indeed, Allah will not change a condition of people until they change what is in themselves".

Only when we can see the small silver lining with positivity, will it open doors to other great things. So choose to look for the smallest hint of silver lining amidst the darkness. Choose to see the helping hands, and willing ears. Choose to see His limitless compassion, still accompanying us until today. How can we not get up and live again? Because if we bury ourselves too deep in the hole of negativity, we might fall into another one, and another one accidentally.

Not long after encountering this reality, the girl bid farewell to her new friends at the peaceful café. After all, she always had a bigger mission, to ace in her internship and complete her final year study while juggling other responsibilities at hand. And promised to herself that this story will not remain hidden in her collection of memories. So this was finally written after two years of being kept in Draft. Because we never know, maybe there are other people who needed it too, like herself before.

All in all, she was struck and broken. She lost her. But ultimately, she found herself. No more running. She stood there in total stillness, and looked around. She has everything she ever needed. And slowly, she began putting back the pieces of her life and dreams together, one by one.

;)

And as for Adam? His condition remains uncertain. Last time she heard, he also took off after a few days she resigned. Mainly to go back to his beloved hometown. May he finds his heart's peace, and be granted with his greatest wish.

And may he be happy, wherever he is.